Sherri's Blog
We all want to retain top talent, but the time may come when your superstars need to move on. It’s right for their careers, for their growth and development. But like the song says, “Breaking up is hard to do.” Since you desperately want to keep them (for good reasons!), you try everything – money, promotions, new job responsibilities. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.
But when it’s really time to go, what would the ideal “break up” conversation sound like? I checked in with some superstars who moved on (a few of whom subsequently returned), and this is what I heard…
The manager should first ask why the individual wants to leave. After listening carefully, the manager should acknowledge these reasons, and then tell the employee why he wants them to stay and why he values them.
The manager should continue by asking if there is anything – anything at all – that can be done to keep the employee. If there is nothing, the manager should tell the employee they will be missed, wish them well, and make it clear that if for any reason they want to return, please call!
At this point, when goodbye is for real, the background music changes to “I’ll Be Around.” And you will, because these individuals are that good, and you’ll always find a place for them in your organization.
I was conducting interviews for a 360 Feedback Report, and I was struck by the deep loyalty and commitment that shown through them all. While the manager was not perfect (I had things to write about in the Improvement Section), it made no difference. Her people said they had and would happily work for her for their entire careers. And her organization got results.
What was her “secret sauce?” To answer this I went back to one of my go-to books: Marcus Buckingham’s “The One Thing You Need to Know … About Great Managing, Great Leading, and Sustained Individual Success.” I won’t be giving away the punch line if I tell you that he believes the key to great leadership is providing clarity – clarity about who the organization serves, its core strength, how success will be measured, and what actions must be taken.
As I re-read the interviews, the manager’s ability to provide this clarity was her “secret sauce.”
And why is this so powerful? Because one of things we all share as human beings is a fear of the unknown. And a leader who can transform our fear into confidence in the future is great indeed.
So in the end, she made her people feel more secure. How simple. How powerful. How lucky for them.
A friend recently told me this story…
He worked in a large bank. His manager’s job was to sell accounts, and his was to manage them. Classic split between sales and client relations. In his organization the sales job was the “sexier,” more senior and sought after position, which is why his manager wanted it. But she wasn’t suited for it. She was a quiet person who enjoyed playing with numbers. Details and spreadsheets were her strong suit.
So instead of doing her own job, she did my friend’s! She would reluctantly go on sales calls (so there wasn’t much new business … a problem in itself), and for existing clients she took over all the relationship tasks. Leaving my friend, who is talented and enjoys his work, with nothing to do. The result? My friend quit in frustration. And as you might imagine, the manager was eventually moved out.
At the heart of this story is the manager’s lack of insight into what she is good at and the kind of job that is right for her. And this lack of awareness hurt two careers – hers and her employee’s. She did not appreciate or focus on her strengths. And she fell prey to the siren song of a promotion.
There are many ways to gain insight into the best job for you (books, self-assessments, 360 feedback, performance reviews), but perhaps the easiest place to start is by finishing these two sentences:
“I’m excited to go to work today because I get to do …”
“I really don’t want to go to work today because I have to do …”
Knowing this will help prevent you from taking a job that’s not right for you and, equally important, heighten your awareness of areas where you could be moving in on your employee’s territory.
Readers of this blog may recall that I’m not a sports fan, but when John Wooden, famed coach of the UCLA mens basketball team, died last June, I couldn’t read enough about him. The results he got and the loyalty he built were inspiring. One of his most famous lines struck a chord:
FAILING TO PREPARE IS PREPARING TO FAIL
Recently I’ve been delivering performance review training. While the content is helpful, the most valuable part of the class is the time to prepare. Managers get to think through their key messages (even write their opening line) and practice with a peer.
It can take as little as 20 minutes to do this, and the payoffs are big – you’re calmer, your message is clearer, you’re able to respond more effectively to questions (even if they’re “out of bounds”), and you increase the likelihood of getting the changes you want.
So the next time you have an important message to deliver (in a review or any setting), take some time to prepare and practice. What worked for the winner of 10 national championships should work for you!
Confession: I’m a magazine junky. All kinds of magazines. A favorite is one whose tag line is “Life Made Simpler.” Recently I was reading their “Modern Manners” advice column, and I got concerned.
A woman asked whether she should tell her manager that he’s constantly misusing the phrase “in light of“ since it’s making him look foolish at best/stupid at worst. Neither of which he is. The advisor tells the woman not to say anything to her manager. Her reasoning? “He won’t appreciate it.”
Really? Her manager wants to continue to look bad? Wouldn’t you want to know? I certainly would. In fact, in the days before spell check, I actually got some similar feedback from one of my direct reports. “Sherri,” he said, ‘a lot’ is two words not one. I know that good writing is important to you, so I thought you’d want to know.” It was direct, to the point. I was grateful, and I never forgot it.
Another reason this article bothered me was it means that people are getting bad advice from pop culture experts. And since this is the case, you as a manager need to redouble your efforts to ask your direct reports for feedback. Of all kinds. Big and small.
So go ahead, take a deep breath, and ask for some. And when you get it, accept it, say thank you, and, when makes it sense, change.
In the process, you’ll be creating a culture where feedback is the norm, not the exception – and that’s good for everyone.