Sherri's Blog
When I was at Apple, an Operations VP asked for my help in building his team. The process involved interviewing his direct reports to get their opinion of his leadership. While he certainly did some things well, for the most part they didn’t like how he was managing them or leading the team. As a relatively new consultant, I was hooked. Clearly this guy needed to be fixed! And I was just the person to do it.
As I was thinking about the project, I shared my concern for the team members’ plight with a more experienced colleague and asked for her ideas on how to change the VP. She looked at me, smiled slowly, and asked “So, Sherri, where is your empathy for him?” I was surprised and humbled. Clearly, I’d missed this step!
What continues to surprise me is how quickly and easily we jump to “blame the boss.” Yes, it can be justified, but it rarely leads to change. A more powerful tool for changing your manager’s behavior and building a stronger relationship is empathy. What are the forces at play in her world? What pressures is she under? Is there a way to help her and yourself at the same time? At least, this approach will make the boss more likely to listen to you; at most, you might find solutions to problems that are bothering both of you.
On a plane ride to the East Coast, I was seated next to an engineering manager from a well-known high tech company. We started talking about what I do, and he asked me the question I dread most: What is the key to being a successful manager?
I dread this question for obvious reasons (how do I distill all I’ve learned and believe into one line?) and for marketing ones (he could be a potential client, and I wasn’t sure I could answer him). So I thought for a moment, and it came to me:
“Be explicit and be flexible.”
This one line summarizes the heart of good management.
“Be explicit” captures the power of being clear about what you want and don’t want and being specific about what you see. Direct reports need to know what is expected and how they are doing.
At the same time, managers need to be flexible. Start with a point of view, but be open to others. Have a perspective on a person, but pay attention to what’s really going on and be ready to flex. Use models and techniques that encourage openness to the individual and the situation not a rigid “one size fits all.”
Of course, this one piece of advice led us to a longer, richer conversation about management. And this kind of conversation is the real key to success!