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From time to time I’ll use my blog to share management stories entitled “Truth is Stranger Than Fiction.”  They are cautionary tales of what not to do!  Here’s the first in what will be a regular feature.

In two consecutive staff meetings, my friend’s manager criticized her.  The manager complained that my friend was not flexible enough. “When new requests come up,” he said, “you need to find a way to do them immediately and still finish the other work on your plate.”

My friend was angry because she did not see this as a legitimate complaint.  She had urgent projects of greater importance to complete (ones sanctioned by her manager), and she had made judgment calls regarding what to do first.  

She was also unhappy about being singled out in front of her peers.  So she met with her manager.  “I’m concerned you don’t think I’m doing a good job,” she said, “and it was hard for me to hear that for the first time in a staff meeting.”

Now here’s the response that stunned her when she heard it …

“Oh,” her manager said. “I wasn’t talking about you.  I don’t think Bill (another team member) is being flexible, and he isn’t taking on enough new projects.  I wanted to make the point so he’d hear how important it was and change his behavior.  Don’t worry. You’re fine.”

Readers of this blog may recall that I’m not a sports fan, but when John Wooden, famed coach of the UCLA mens basketball team, died last June, I couldn’t read enough about him.  The results he got and the loyalty he built were inspiring.  One of his most famous lines struck a chord:

FAILING TO PREPARE IS PREPARING TO FAIL

Recently I’ve been delivering performance review training.  While the content is helpful, the most valuable part of the class is the time to prepare.  Managers get to think through their key messages (even write their opening line) and practice with a peer.  

It can take as little as 20 minutes to do this, and the payoffs are big – you’re calmer, your message is clearer, you’re able to respond more effectively to questions (even if they’re “out of bounds”), and you increase the likelihood of getting the changes you want.

So the next time you have an important message to deliver (in a review or any setting), take some time to prepare and practice.  What worked for the winner of 10 national championships should work for you!

I’m 5’2” and many years ago I learned this fashion lesson:  One size does NOT fit all.  Salespeople would try to convince me that a sweater would fit everyone, but I was quite sure it wasn’t supposed to come down to my knees.

When I became a manager, I quickly figured out the same principle applied.  I’m sure you know this too, but from time to time I like to use my blog to reconnect with the fundamentals.  This is especially important since it takes time and attention to figure out our direct report’s individual needs, and sometimes we just get too busy to remember to do it!

We’ve all learned to be specific when giving feedback, but do you take the time to think about how many examples and what level of detail a particular individual needs? Do you notice how an individual responds to your emails? Does your tone shut them down or open them up? Does your direct report thrive on public recognition or do they prefer private praise? The list goes on.

So I’m asking you to re-commit to managing your direct reports in ways that match their unique and exact “size.”  There’s a big payoff in motivation, loyalty, connection, and productivity.

If my clients share one thing, it’s a feeling of overwhelm.  The demand on their time and their talent is relentless.  There’s the pressure to spend time with people who need them – boss, peers, direct reports, customers.   There’s the question of where to put their energy and focus.  The here-and-now?  The future?  How do they decide which meetings to attend and which ones to skip?  It can all seem endless.

While I can’t give a complete solution in a short blog, I want to offer something many of my most successful clients do.

First, they identify a very short list of key people and actions they want to focus on.  Here’s one client’s list:

–  Discuss career development with each of her direct reports
–  Stay in touch with key stakeholders in the company’s headquarters
–  Review the team’s top priorities and how they’re progressing
–  Brainstorm/read/even daydream about the team’s future direction
–  Meet with her boss to listen to his concerns and issues – not to share her own
–  Praise someone on the team for good work

Your list may be different, and, yes, there are many other things she has to do. However, the things on this list ground her, and they have become sacrosanct.  How does she make them so?  She uses her calendar.

For example, she schedules a quarterly meeting with each of her direct reports to discuss their development, she goes to lunch with her boss every month just to listen, she schedules 2 hours a month for herself to review team priorities and progress, and every Monday her calendar says “look for something good this week and share it.”

Of course, this only works because she allows absolutely nothing to shift these commitments.  I challenge you to try this.  Come up with your own short list and for the next 3 months honor it.  If it works, keep going.  All you’ve got to lose is your overwhelm!

Over past three years, I have rarely posted a blog without having my daughter read it first.  She often points out places where my ideas aren’t clear or where I need additional details – things that seemed obvious to me but weren’t to another reader.

She’s very smart and a very good writer, but there’s more going on here.  She’s been working for 7 years; I’ve been working for many times that.  She still has “beginner’s mind,” and I don’t.

There is no doubt that wisdom and experience are powerful, but they must be sparked and enlivened by fresh perspectives.  Otherwise, we can get stuck in our beliefs and our ways of doing things well beyond their “use by” date.

In the New Year, ask yourself if you are willing to expose your hard-earned beliefs and patterns to scrutiny. If you are:
– Who in your life can provide a different perspective?
– Who can ask you questions that create new thinking?

Beyond this, are you willing to try something completely new, something in which you have little or no experience?  Are you willing to risk failing or looking foolish for the upside reward of learning, growing, and, as research has shown, happiness?

As Shunryu Suzuki said in ZEN MIND, BEGINNER’S MIND,  “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.”  Wishing you a New Year filled with possibilities!