Sherri's Blog

When I began consulting over a decade ago, I thought I could do it on my own.  After all, I’m experienced and self-motivated.  On any number of assessments, I score high on “need for autonomy.”  Initially things were fine, but fine isn’t great.  And great was what I wanted!

While I always included my clients’ ideas and expertise as much as possible in generating solutions, I also began to reach out to my colleagues … and to the colleagues of my colleagues.  I learned very quickly that the best ideas, the most innovative solutions, didn’t always arise fully formed out of my head.  There were many times when I needed the energy and perspective of others.  

I am, of course, not unique.  I see the same thing with my clients.  The most successful ones know how to build strong networks.   They are open to others ideas and share their own expertise willingly.  They cannot imagine tackling a juicy project alone – “no hoarding allowed” is their motto.  They hold a core belief about collaboration, and when this is coupled with a focus on results, magic happens.

When I collect feedback for a manager I’m coaching, I typically include these two questions: What does the manager do well? What could s/he improve?  In one recent interview, an engineer came in apologizing. “I’m really sorry,” he said, “but I don’t have any improvements for you.  The guy is doing everything right in my eyes.”

I wiped the look of wonder off my face. An engineer with nothing to fix!  I assured him that it was fine and said, “Let’s just dig into the good stuff!”  I told him that in my experience few managers get to hear a detailed discussion of what they’re doing right. And research shows that true excellence grows from building on strengths.

He talked, and I typed. I asked him for as many specific examples as possible, knowing that this would be most helpful to the manager.  It was truly refreshing to spend 30 minutes learning only about what someone did right.  And it got me thinking about how little time most of us spend focusing on what’s working in our lives.  

So I’d like to ask you to take a few moments right now to think about what you’re doing well, where you’re strong, and how you can capitalize on your strengths.  Thinking about this can lead to changes in your immediate work life as well as career insights.   

And beyond the practical benefits … I’m guessing that taking a “positive thinking break” will just feel good too!

It was time to update my website – to look at something I’d seen over and over with new eyes. Since I’d been comfortable with things the way they were, it wasn’t easy to motivate myself to change. But when I finally did, I clearly saw the difference and was glad I made the effort.

This got me thinking about what happens when managers get stuck in their perspective about their employees. There’s clearly a danger here. For one thing, you can end up giving your direct reports the same assignments time and again. In doing this, you miss opportunities to help them grow and risk lowering their enthusiasm for the work. And when you interact with them the same way over and over, it can prevent your relationship from growing stronger.

So I’d like to challenge you to take at least one of your direct reports, look at them with new eyes, and ask yourself one question:

What am I missing?

Look long and hard! This could be the path to building stronger bonds and better results.

Recently I delivered a feedback report to an engineering manager.  I collected information on his strengths and weaknesses from his boss, his peers, and his direct reports.  He was open to the feedback and focused on understanding what he needed to stop, start, and continue. And I know he’ll talk with his boss and others to figure out his next steps.  But even after all this, there is still one more important thing:  Ask someone to notice!

What do I mean by this?

To help feedback stick, it’s a good idea to ask a few of your feedback givers to pay attention and to tell you when they see improvement.  Or every once in awhile just ask a colleague you trust if they’ve noticed any changes in a certain behavior.  This helps you track your progress and let go of feedback once it’s no longer applicable. Having an outside eye is a great way to test your perspective on how you’re doing and reinforce the changes you want to make.

I have a client in Finance who works with managers in Sales and Marketing.   While she plays a vital role, it falls under the category of “support function,” and her encounters with these managers consist of asking what she can do for them. What kind of data do they need?  In what format?  On what schedule?  Etc.

One day as she was finishing one such meeting, a manager turned to her and asked:  “What can I do for you?”

She practically fell off her chair!  After 10 years in the business this was the first time she’d been asked this question.  After a few moments, she collected herself, suggested ways his group could be more responsive, and asked if he could help get additional resources for her function.

Of course, this cemented their relationship and motivated her to work just a little harder for him.

The moral?  Every once in awhile look up and see the people who support you and your goals. Take a moment to ask them what they need. Everyone benefits.